Paint begins chipping from my favorite doll, she has bouncy brown hair, and bright blue eyes. She does not have a fancy dress on like the rest of my porcelain collection, instead she wears a handmade shirt, and a little blue skirt with leggings that I made from my own clothing. It’s a pity to have to repaint her again. I often wonder what makes her paint chip off. When I got her, she had blonde hair, but unfortunately it had disappeared, so I had to sacrifice another of my dolls’ hair to keep her looking pristine.  Sometimes I can hear her whisper when I’m alone with her. I can never make out what she says, I pick up my brush and start painting her rosy red cheeks. As I move to paint her lips, the corners of them turn upwards slowly, almost unnoticeable.

 I almost couldn’t believe my eyes, almost every night for a year I have waited for this moment. When I told people about my experiments they laughed at me. Alas, I will be the one laughing. When I first got my porcelain beauty I laid her onto her stomach, and made an incision on her back, then filled it with old baby teeth, some hair for good measure and my own blood. In retrospect, she was part of me. I watched in awe as her eyes rolled back inside her head, and was replaced by a white film. As I finish painting the last details on her chin I noticed her teeth. Four small baby teeth barred at me. It’s finally happening, after all the hard work my experiment is working. I lift her shirt to look at my craftsmanship, blood begins to drip from the stitch in her back soaking the twine red. Pleased with myself I put her on top of my T.V stand, dusting off the dust particles with my hand. Eager to hear her voice, I get my audio recorder set up, along with my nighttime camera. I begin to turn off all my lights, and rush to get my paint. Carefully I paint a depiction of a black crow onto the floor below me. My voice shakes as I turn the audio recorder to the on position, “Malphas, are you here with me?”

Something about the dolls face distorts, hopefully it’s on video. The walls become a dirty brown color, and the floor breaks apart in what I can only describe as an earthquake. My heart quickens and I close my eyes, counting backwards in Latin from ten. “Decem” I feel a dark presence breathe down my neck, “novem, octo, septem.” I fall over and my hands dig into a soft mushy substance. “Sex, quinque, quatuor,” my breathing becomes shallower with every number I say, “tribus, duo, unis.” Slowly, I open my eyes to see that I am not in my house anymore. I slowly turn around, dead carcasses crunch beneath my feet. My beautiful doll is nowhere to be seen, a deep husky voice whispers in my ear, “Run.”

            I stumble around looking for my beautiful doll, “Malphas you traitor! I have spent my days taking care of your new vessel, preening it for you, making it perfect in every way, and this is the thanks I get!” My sides begin to hurt, in a rage I start running through the curled trees. I hear giggling in the distance. “I’m not scared of you!” The giggling became louder, almost inside my head. I didn’t see the large log that lay in front of me, I only saw my doll. “You poor thing how did you get outside?” I ran to pick her up, to save her from getting dirty. The last thing I heard was a crack as I fell to the ground. I lied there in my blood for who knows how long. I didn’t care, all I knew is that I had my precious doll back in my arms. The night went on for what seemed like years, and I fell asleep with my doll clutched tightly in my arms. When I woke, I was in bed. Groggy I try to get up, but no matter how hard I tried, I just could not move. Staring at the ceiling, I realized why I could not move. There was a mirror attached to the ceiling so that I could see myself in the dimly lit room.

I looked so pretty, my eyes were replaced by beautiful shining blue eyes, and my hair. My hair was brown, now curly coming down in beautiful springy locks. My skin now stained porcelain white, and my outfit was the same as my dolls. The only difference was my mouth. Red thread was sewn in making my smile wider, almost too wide. Footsteps come into my bedroom, and a little girl smiles, picking me up. “You make Mali so happy!” She cradles me in her arms, “Don’t be scared, I’ll take good care of you.” I sit emotionless in her arms. It couldn’t be, this is not what the experiment was going to be. The little girl sits me on the T.V stand. She looks just like me. “Stay here, I’m going to play outside now,” she whispered. “I can’t wait to get more friends like you!” She grinned at me, and I could see clearly. Four baby teeth grinned back at me, and when she turned around, there was a scar on her back sewed back up with red thread. “You will be forever beautiful now dolly!” I watched as she skipped to the door, leaving me alone with the camera still running.

One thought on “Porcelian

  1. Greetings! I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and finally got the bravery to
    go ahead and give you a shout out from Lubbock Texas! Just wanted to mention keep up the good


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